HOW TO BRING THE ZING BACK INTO YOUR SEX LIFE

Monotony sets in with familiarity. After a few years into a relationship, there’s a mighty chance that the sex might appear to be jaded. But do not despair, for this happens with everybody. It is only that you have to find a way out of the situation. The first thing to bear in mind is sexual variety. If you continue your sex like an automaton, there is every chance that it will become nothing more than an exercise to both of you.

You must remember that there is no love potion or ambrosia that will perk up your sex life; you will have to undertake the exercise yourself. Working up a sex life cannot be done through magic. Instead, if you have some imagination and are ready to explore each other further, then you will be really amazed at how small things can light up the spark to your relationship once again.

A very significant part of having a fulfilling relationship is to know yourself perfectly well first. Explore your own innermost desires. Think what you want. You might be in need of some thing – it could be a sentence, a touch or a kiss or even a simple gesture. Find out what you want. Explore your fantasies. If you are finding that difficult to do, then you can get some sex magazines, or you can surf the Internet to check out. It may happen that you want a special kind of sex, like oral sex or anal sex. Or perhaps you are into bondage or have some fetish. Understand this craving of yourself first and see whether you want to go ahead with it.

Once you know what you want, you must communicate this with your partner. Communication is important for sharing feelings, and is a very vital part of a relationship. You can communicate with sex stories if you do not want to tell about yourself. Intelligent partners can get the drift from this. Or you can even write a note or an email to your partner about what you want. There are couples who – just for the sake of variety – indulge in cyber sex or please themselves with role-playing games.

Then you must think about the manner in which you are having your sexual encounters. Are you always in the same place at the same time? Do you always carry out your sexual tasks in the same sequence? If yes, then you seriously need to stagger out things. Change the venue and the timing of your sexual encounters. If you usually have it in the night before dozing off, try having it in the afternoon for variety. Have it in a different room, in the bathroom, in the corridor or even on the kitchen table. Try varying the length of time of your sexual episode – if you usually indulge in an hour full of sex, go for a quickie. Or vice-versa! See how things change for the better.

Trying out new things each time will never allow your sex to become boring. If you have always been orthodox about sex, it might be high time for you to explore your wild side. Try using sex toys in front of your partners. Or explore the world of BDSM. Get some bondage gear and have a whale of a time punishing each other – in turns, of course. See how much that will enrich your experience. The important benefit here is that BDSM is a very intimate activity – couples who indulge in it build up very great levels of comfort with each other.

When you have made a determination to try out new things in your bedroom, you must be firm on your decision, because society might ridicule such behavior. That is why you will require some degree of courage to do what you exactly want. But, for some people, that aspect of courage itself will mean a degree of sexual titillation. You can build up an agenda to try out something different once every month or so, get your energies all high and then lie down for another month. Even doing something simple like masturbating in a new position could mean something different. When you are comfortable with these simple adventures, you can go into something more daring like anal sex or BDSM.

Another interesting thing you can do is to build up the entire environment for sex. Make a date with your own partner of several years. Meet at that particular time, as you probably did when you were courting. Carry out your tasks just like you are newly courting couple. You can plan out several such sex dates in a month, and you will really find the romance beginning to grow all again. However, see to it that these dates do not turn out to be a rigmarole; something that you have to do. Do something new each time – like meeting in a new place – so that it doesn’t turn out to be an obligation.

There are some erotic games you can check out. If you involve yourself into these games, you will be stimulating yourself in a safe manner, and also derive immense pleasure from the whole act. You will find the pressures wearing off too.

Educate yourself about sex. Read books and watch videotapes about them. Watch porn. Pick up tips. You might find out things you never knew about, and which seem to be very exciting to you. And do not feel orthodox about it at all. Reading a book on sex, or even watching porn for that matter, is very safe as long as you are not harming anyone or forcing someone to do that they don’t want to.

Pornography can actually heighten your erotica as a couple. You can both sit naked on the bed and flick through the pages of a porn magazine, or watch a porn tape; there can be nothing more arousing than that. You might have to search a lot to get the kind of porn you both like, but when you do, there will be no end to how it can positively benefit your sex life.

Finally, bring some lightness into the bedroom. It is not worth being worried in the bedroom, or else the tensions will not let the sex happen. Laughing when you have sex is a good thing to do; it really brightens up the atmosphere for good sex.

That’s it! You must enjoy yourselves to have good sex. Do not expect too much from your partner, and do not give in too much either. This is the key to have a very good sex life.